Coffee, Part 1

A work of semi fiction.

If you were here, I'd invite you to coffee. Actually, I don't believe you drink coffee. So, you would be drinking orange juice and I would be drinking a delicious cup of the drink that will keep me short forever. Coffee is the perfect cure for loneliness.

I like picturing sitting next to you, your fingers playing with my labyrinthine curls. This is proof that I'm hopelessly dreaming, because I don't have any labyrinthine curls to play with anymore. We would be sitting across from each other, a cute round coffee table and a wall of anger separating us both. Most likely, you'd be trying to catch my eye, while I would be trying to evade every glance.

Perhaps you would question my patterned, bald head. However, that sounds like a thought flying out of my hopeful subconscious once again; You were never one to ask much. That fact would contribute to the invisible barrier in this imaginary situation. I wonder what you would say to me if you agreed to such a meeting. I wonder if you would say anything at all.

Today, I swore that I would make sure my life changed for the better. Of course, I always promise this, and somehow, it never falls through. I can't help but imagine that the number of miles between you and me are all vows against me, to keep me from turning over a new leaf. I'm supposed to focus on myself now that you are gone, but the lack of your presence has only made you MORE present... in my mind, that is. Your image has permeated every cell in that useless organ called the brain. All that occupies my mind nowadays is coffee, orange juice, and you. This leaves no space to consider escaping the hell that is here; I can only figure short-term solutions to the problem.

My first goal is to grow back those curls. Once I lost my hair, the rest of my life fell down the drain with it. I still like to believe that if I look like I once did, everything else will fall into place. I can drop my addiction, I can escape life in this hellhole called Ganea Ganeum. Of course, the first rule here is that long hair is prohibited- it makes it easy to identify who is paying and who isn't allowed to leave.