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though i have better things to worry about

this is what my insides feel like right now.

Today, I realized that all I want

is someone to discuss poetry and art with without being overly pretentious.

The ideal lover would be well educated, talented in either visual art or music, introverted but outgoing, and has his or her own opinions, thoughts, and perceptions about this world. He/she wouldn't be unfamiliar with pain, giving an insight that sheltered individuals don't have- but generally, they would be optimistic.

I want someone who will inspire me to improve myself.
being cute couldn't hurt as well.

Today, I realized that I have incredibly high standards.

I just deleted pretty much every comment on this blog

mainly due to the fact that, while I refuse to mislead people about where I've been and what I once was, I want to establish that over the past couple weeks my outlook on *certain topics* has changed drastically.

any comments on any post older than this month (november) will be deleted. If you're an asshole about this newly enforced rule, and decide to comment on future posts with the same snide remarks, your comments will be deleted as well.

I don't want to block comments completely, but I will if I have to.

:) the end!

Itookaplane Itookatrain, oh! who cares, you always end up in the city!

that song makes me smile so much.

I love new york.
On the subway, I like to close my eyes and listen to all the voices, first a complicated gurgling stream of sound, words interwoven like charms. Then, I make a point of picking out each discussion one by one. Then I listen to it as a whole again and it seems strangely different than before; I can feel it as a whole along with each individual part everyone plays, microcosms within microcosms. Like music.

I want to capture the idea of all of you, the homeless person with no shoes or socks asking for change, the cute hipster boys who file in one by one on Bedford avenue station, the group of Asian middle schoolers chattering away about the latest tiny piece of gossip.

I want to keep all of this, in my mind, now, forever.

This city keeps me grounded. It keeps me grounded to the point that if I lived anywhere else, I fear that I'd just float up into the sky and disappear.

i like to walk barefoot in the summer and sit down on the ground and let my feet dangle off the edge of the subway platform. I lie down sometimes while waiting for the 7:20 G train when I'm especially tired. It's pretty disgusting, but what other city would you be able to really do that?

nowhere. absolutely nowhere.

fucking wired

it's going to be one of those no-sleep nights again. I can feel it.

oh well, at least I'll be productive.

untitled, or perhaps overtitled, or perhaps so undertitled that the title of "untitled" is nonexistent

Main Entry: memory
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: ability to hold in the mind
Synonyms:
anamnesis, awareness, camera-eye, cognizance, consciousness, dead-eye, flashback, memorization, mind, mind's eye, mindfulness, recall, recapture, recognition, recollection, reflection, remembrance, reminiscence, retention, retentiveness, retrospection, subconsciousness, thought
Antonyms:
amnesia, forgetfulness, ignorance